Puppy Love [Sketch]
Nothing can turn a rotten day around like a little kiss from a puppy.
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Blah, my apologies for not making any appearances this past week (seven days)… it this has been a pretty lousy last week for me. Long story short, I lost my stride after stumbling a couple times, and all I wanted to do was just find a hole to crawl into and disappear for a while. Worse was that… not only were these stumbles totally preventable (all I had to do was just wake up and leave for work on time!), but just when I thought I got myself back on my feet after the first stumble, I went and stumbled again… AND likewise it was preventable. All of that really drained my energy and resolve… and it absolutely did nothing to help my art to boot.
(Extra, but optional writing; just select it to read it.)
It’s just that, when I feel like I’ve screwed up, it simply ruins the next couple days for me. Not only is the actual day ruined, but I then I find myself spending the next day or two packing up the anxiety that was let loose by my mistake like a can of joke snakes. So it’s bad enough for it to happen once, it’s even worse for it to happen yet again and so soon after the first time. One whole week of feeling like crap is not fun in the slightest.But my greatest fear is that I’ve return back to my pre-spark days, where all I would do is either work or… maybe being mentally stuck on a Numberphile equation. I love the fact that my spark had finally returned after all these years, because my energy is spent on art and not on those mental traps… and I don’t want to do anything that would make me lose it. However, this past week I’ve found myself falling back into my pre-spark routine, mentally trapping myself on Numberphile equations and shitposting online, and it worries me because I feel like I lost my spark again.
Though… I guess the fact that I’m aware of it shows that not all is lost. I may feel just like my pre-spark unmotivated self, but this may just be a fleeting feeling while I’m putting time and distance between myself and my anxiety-ridden mistakes. In due time I might actually be back to my new “normal” self and back to making new art and comics like I’ve been doing this last month. I sure hope so…